Ended goin to Chris' dad's funeral today after all. OMG it was the worst feeling in the world seein Chris and Eddie and their mom hurtin like that. Vince wasn't cryin but of course you can see it in his face. It was so horrible seein them in pain. Sweetest ppl in the world. It's so unfair.

I came with Pris and Al and I've never been to a funeral before so I didn't really know what to do. We went for the viewing and it was open casket. Never seen a dead person before either. It wasn't scary or anythin...I just hoped that he was in peace. And the service was kinda religious cuz the family's Christian so I felt kinda outta place for that too cuz I don't pray or read the bible and stuff like that. Of course Jason was there and Jen, Jay, Immy, and Victor. All these ppl from hs.

I just felt so terrible cuz Chris and her mom were cryin so much and I know they're hurtin so bad and I can't do a thing...except be there but it doesn't seem like doin much at all. It was all very surreal. Watchin Chris while she was givin her eulogy...heart-wrenching. The tears wouldn't stop comin. And I forgot to bring tissues. A tissue box on BOTH sides of the pew, ppl.

Pris had to be somewhere so me, Al, Immy, and Jay went together to the burial. We didn't go to the reception tho. I dunno, we felt it might be kinda weird or awkward...and it might be better for just family. It was good to see Chris tho...it just sucks that it had to be like this instead of next month when she woulda came home from Cali. Jay and Immy too. Seein everybody shoulda been under better circumstances.

Then I went and watched my tape of Tru Calling...death and morgues! Stupid. I cried so many times today. And they're goin thru it 100 times worse. I can't take seein ppl in pain, it just hurts so much. But I know Chris' dad knows that he raised her right cuz she's so much to be proud of. Jase and Chris--you couldn't ask for any 2 kids better than them.

This definitely changed me. It just hits you.

Me and L went shoppin downtown and met up with G there after work. *Trip* "I got distracted by the pink." LOL Came out with a cute DKNY T and a new straightener. The dorks...I was the one who was lookin for a straightener and we all ended up buyin one, haha. They had a demo model in the store and I just wanted to see how heavy it was and L and G had the woman tryin it on their hair. L had super wavy hair cuz she had it up and didn't even brush it today, haha. And we were just like, daaaaaaamn...came out stick straight smooth. We all have straighteners already but this was a sweet ceramic plate flat iron. $60 on sale.

Before we dropped L home, we stopped at the gas station where we waited for some guy to be done at the pump. As he leaves, G backs up and there's somebody else behind the guy who's tryin to creep in the spot. We came in the right way and were there first so we're like, don't think so, back the hell up. He sits there so it's pretty much we can wait here all night. Some middle aged Greek guy or somethin. He eventually moves but rolls up by us and he and L start arguin. Pretty soon they're yellin and other ppl around are lookin to see what's goin on. L's such a agitator, haha. This is also probably why she has high blood pressure :P She was about to GO with this old dude LOL He called her a bitch and told her to fuck off in his accented english and we're like, he did not just say fuck you. They were pretty damn close to throwin down and I was just sittin in the car laughin. Really tho, if he stepped to her, I woulda came out...but right then it was just mad funny. Stupid guy didn't know there was 2 pumps but only 1 meter panel so obviously 2 ppl can't go at the same time and he wasn't gettin it. "Are you fuckin stupid?" "Fack you! Don't call me stupid!" Haha. I'll admit L can be freakin dramatic sometimes tho. But if G was there alone, she'd sit there and take it and probably woulda let him go before her. I almost lost my voice laughin so loud.

Oh yeah, that SF film essay that's worth 50% (that I got a D on last semster in SF Film I)...we got them back this week. I was kinda scared to flip to the last page for the mark cuz I was fearin a repeat (cuz ya know, sometimes you think you did pretty good but they apparently didn't think so or vice versa :P). Got a B! Yesssss :) So it's less pressure to do a kickass paper for the final essay.

Well it seems pretty dumb to keep writin about my daily biz when somethin like a death happens. What to say, what to say?? The funeral's on Sat. I dunno if I'll go or not. I think I wanna go for Chris cuz I didn't really know her dad even tho I've known her since the 3rd grade. But I dunno...it's a funeral and all...not sure how comfortable I am with that. She said she understands that everyone's busy and such tho. Actually, I've never been to a funeral before. I hope that sweetie's doin alright still. And Eddie and Vincent too. I know it probably makes me look like a freak cuz I'm not all that upset-soundin. I'm kinda sad but I dunno...that's just how I am. I can be laughin like the day of. Is that horrible? Anyways...not much more I can say about that.

I have a headache. My presentation's over with. It actually went good, yay. Those theatre ppl in my class rock. Today's class was technically the last one for me (in actual class anyway) cuz they're goin on another field trip type thing. They're gonna see a show and I can't cuz I've got those essays to do so that's the end of that course! Too bad, I was startin to like goin to that class :P Oh man, yesterday was an interestin trek..but I don't feel like gettin into it so, yeah.

So this headache...I think it's cuz I haven't had anythin to eat in 7 hrs...plus me not gettin a lotta sleep since I went to bed late and got up earlier than usual. Holy crap, I was lyin in bed and all of a sudden I get a sneezin fit. Like more than usual, like 10 at a time, each one thundering. And then I did like 3 more sets of those. WTF. It got to the point where my eyes were tearin up. So I couldn't breathe outta my nose AT ALL and thus, couldn't sleep properly. Aggravating.

I left my hat in L's car :P I was runnin late and she was waitin in the car to drive me to school so in my mad dash to print all my shit, I ran out carryin my jacket, backpack, hat, and belt (I didn't even have time to put my BELT on :P). It was rainin today so I thought at least I had my hat but I bugged cuz I had no idea where it was. Losin my mind.

Just found out from Jason that Chris' dad died. The email said Unfortunate News and I knew it was gonna be bad. That really sucks. Ah Chris. She's kinda in a daze right now but she seems to be holdin up OK. She's goin home tomorrow. OMG J and Chris...his mom and her dad. I hate when this bad shit happens. Why do horrible things happen to ppl who don't deserve it in the least? I just wanna help them but I can't do much besides the same old stuff that everyone else does. I never know what to say. Her dad's gone and I hafta worry about gettin my hw done for the next day. That's so stupid. I don't wanna put this school shit first, I shouldn't hafta think about that over seein how Chris is doin tomorrow. I think it was a couple months ago that I wrote that stuff about not knowin what's gonna happen next and tellin ppl how you feel cuz you might not have another chance. Holy.

So I have my theatre presentation on Wed...slowly startin to freak out about it. And the monster phone book-sized archive project that goes with it at the end of the semester. And updatin last semster's book to hand in for a re-evaluation too. *Sigh* I'll probably go downtown tomorrow to see if I can pick up some more stuff at the theatre company.

I woke up at 10 this morning...but didn't roll outta bed til an hr later cuz I figured it was just wrong :P But wow, if I actually go to bed before 2 am, I could get up at that hr, haha.

It's weird dream time again...since I've been gettin them a lot these couple weeks. Dammit brain, just tell me what you're tryin to say! :P I don't like riddles and metaphors and representations. Or maybe that's just how I dream and I'm messed in the head, haha.

I was actually thinkin of gettin my ear cartilage pierced. I know it's kinda small-time cuz hey, 13 yr old mall rats have them but I don't even have my earlobes pierced. Was never a fan of holes in my body that I wasn't born with :P Weird since I can take a tat needle but I cringe at the thought of punchin a quick and tiny hole in my ear. Then I came up with a few things:

1)I've gone 23 yrs without ear piercings, why get 1 now? I'm so past that stage, haha. I could do it for the 'me' thing but it's just somethin that I can use the time and money for somethin else.

2)I hardly wear my hair up so it'll pretty much be hidden most of the time anyway. Not that I was gonna do it just for show but hey, it's jewelry, decoration, if it's nice to look at, some ppl should see it.

3)Most of all I was like, ya know what? It's just too much damn trouble. Cleanin is a hassle and from the many bitchings that L's given, I'm thinkin sleepin on that ear's not gonna be fun. I'll just chalk it up to bein lazy...don't feel like takin care of it :P

Well, 1 more book to read! It's got 4 plays in it but still. Here's hopin they're at least interestin.

Woooo....dunno what that was about. Man, I slept in til like 3 pm that day. The chronic puts me to bed.

Wicked game last night...go Leafies, go Leafies! :)

Well I'm down to about 4 plays left. I'm pretty sure I have some kinda mild ADD. For real.

You know what I do when there's no one around to help you at the cash register or the change room but there isn't 1 of those lil bells to get their attention? I just say it, loud..."Ding!" LOL But I only do that when I'm with someone and most likely waitin for their ass.