OK I got up like half an hr ago and went downstairs to get breakfast LOL Went bar-hoppin (or as me, L, and Fish call it, bar-whorin) and lemme just say...I drank!! I was havin a real shitty week so I said screw it all, I'm doin this for ME! LOL Forget my vow, I'm bustin this on my 6th month. But I've got magical Gravol this time so I can finally see it it'll work. And it did! No pukin! :D What sucks tho, is that I drank like a bitch and I didn't really even get drunk, so weird! I had a Zombie (a fav, lethal I know but hey) at the Fox & Fiddle and another 1 at Croc Rock. I paid almost $10 for that 1!! It was a big mutha of a drink. The chick's like, 9.50. It's loud in there so I'm like what? "9.50" "NINE fifty??" She said somethin about it bein a double shot and cuz of all the kinds of alcohol in it, so I'm like alrighty fine, didn't ask for a double shot or for such a huge ass size but whatever. They didn't even make it right either, ugh. The only place that does it right is Havana (also where I got them free and of course puked, so that was the last time before I vowed never to drink again :P). I also went huntin for the shooters girl (the chick who was walkin around sellin shots in those lil test tubes)...prettyyyy colourssss :) We were walkin down the street and before, L and G were talkin about their pact together how if they didn't have bfs by the time they were 25, they'd both get tattoos LOL I already have one and the whole mess about settin deadlines for gettin a man is just dumbass so I'm not parta that :P So we were about to reach the place where I got mine done and me bein in my silly liquored up mood, I'm like, "Let's all get tats! You know the best time to get one is when you've been drinkin!" LOL Not true of course, but I was still half playin. L's like, um no they're closed, cuz it looked kinda dark and who'd think they'd be open so late at night. We walk past the door and there's a big sign that says OPEN and we're like haaaa! LOL Now let's go! LOL Last night was fun, good times! We were stopped in the street like 4 times (not sure if those guys were drunk or not but...LOL), hollered at I dunno how many times, saw another fight on the street, and waved at twice from cars fulla all dudes :) It was too funny, tryin to drive parallel to them on the highway..."G, drive faster!!" "Now they're all the way back there, slow down!" LOL Aw man, the effort in just tryin to get G to wave back. She says she did but we didn't see nuthin so she's gotta do it again next time! :) Anyway, with all that I drank I was actually fine, I could walk and I wasn't talkin nonsense, just a bit energetic I guess. I wasn't feelin that crappy about the week anymore so I figured this would be the prime time to get hammered cuz if I drank while I was pissed or down, I'd probably feel shittier. I was feelin totally OK but I popped half a Gravol pill in the car home just in case. I usually feel fine then I wake up needin to puke later in the night so it was a precaution. I went to bed feelin like I was gonna pass out. Then of course...the nauseousness kicked in. I was still half-sleepin but I had this horrible feelin, and it was like I couldn't breathe. Like usual, it was so bad that it woke me up. I open my eyes and it's 6 in the morning. I'm like aw crap, I think I just might puke after all. Thought I was gonna say the same ol, I swear I'm NEVER drinkin again. This does it for real this time! But I dashed to my Gravol and popped the other half and went to the bathroom, I see the toilet and I'm like, I think I'm gonna use you after all. Just the sight of it and all those bad bad memories came back LOL So I'm like, no! I won't throw up this time! I went back to bed, but not before takin another whole pill cuz the nauseousness wasn't goin away and I wouldn't be able to sleep. But I thought I shouldn't lie back down til the pill made its way down LOL so I just sat but I was so sleepy. Can't fall asleep...gotta give the meds time...but soooo tiiiiired LOL It was all good tho cuz it went away and I never did puke :) I think I woke up drunker than I was the night before LOL My stomach was feelin weird and I was kinda shakin. Didn't know where I was or what day it was when I first woke up. I'm surprised I remembered all this happened :P And since this worked, I'm gonna do it again tonight :D I DIDN'T PUKE! I can drink again!! LOL I lasted 6 months...without really drinkin...but still goin without throwin up. Ahh life is better now ;)

I'm alright now cuz I went out tonight but yesterday OMG!! I was PISSED! I don't think I can come up with enough swear words to cover it all. Where do I friggin start? K I tried to get that damn essay done but I knew it'd take me a while so I figured I'd miss class but hand it in before it was over at 10. Of courrrrrse not. I was doin this thing til 3 am the night before, plus I had art class to deal with too esp since I didn't go last week...mama wasn't gettin no sleep. So I've got my essay on disk and I'm in the library typin it up but it's not savin what I'm writin, somethin about file permission error. I'm like wtf? I'm kinda freaked out that somethin might happen and kill my work before I get to print it so then I'd be really screwed. So I go to the science library to do it there and I get the same shit. Then the comp decides to do some freaky shit like freezin in the middle of my typin and I'm like ohhhh no you're fuckin not! If it's frozen and I gotta shut it down, I lose all my work and I'd be stuck with nuthin. So I'm shittin bricks, but it's not frozen it's just doin somethin weird, like it takes a min to type 1 letter or click on 1 button so it's takin FOREVER to type. I'm like bitchfuck! Why???? At this rate, there's no way in hell I'd get this essay done in time so I gotta save what I had to disk and try the other comp. But my disk is messed or somethin, what to do? I was gettin desperate and the man who's supposed to be at the help desk isn't there, of all times! I asked the guy behind me, "Excuse me, um...do you know anythin about computers?"..."What's this mean?" pointin to the error msg it's givin me. He was no help so I went lookin around for someone who had a disk they could lend me. I looked beside me and somebody musta left theirs behind cuz it had their name on it and I'm like, nah I can't do that. What if this person comes back and sees it's gone and I can't tell them I took it! Then I'm like debating with myself cuz I don't really have a lotta choice at this point. But I didn't use it. The computer building was right next door so I went around there lookin for one of those vending machines with floppy disks (I'm like, that's great I'm gonna break my 10 bill to buy a stupid disk) but I couldn't find one either...what IS this?? I go back to the library and look around the help desk to see if they got spare ones lyin around (I dunno!). But there actually were! There were a few in a pile and they all had labels on them so I'm like, crap these probably belong to other ppl too and they were left behind or somethin. But I'm all, I don't care I'm in a crisis and these ppl aren't here so it's OK! LOL I pretty much stole somebody's disk, sad. So I tried that and it looked like it worked but I moved to the other comp and it was still givin me the error shit. THAT'S GREAT. And THIS comp is doin the half-freezin BS too! ARGH! I figure it's OK, just don't accidentally press Exit or reboot or whatever, just type it out and print and it'll be fine. By this time, it's almost 10 and I'm still doin the conclusion and I figure I won't get done cuz I still hafta finish this up, print 10 pages worth, run to the other library to staple them, and run to class so the class'll be done and the prof woulda probably have left. SO I'm just, fuck it, I'm not doin this shit no more and I'll hand it in late. And this class is super harsh, if you don't hand work in personally in hard copy form the day it's due, the prof only takes late stuff by the week and it's 15% each week. Ouch. But not like I can do anythin so guess I'm gonna hafta take it. So I haven't been to this class in 2 weeks plus I got a late essay worth 40% still to do. Oh but here's the best part, I tried the disk on my comp at home and there's NO FILE *scream* WTF WTF WTF??!? Apparently, my damn comp didn't save any of it at all so that was why it wasn't savin anythin cuz there was no name under that and basically no file existin to save it to. I dunno whether to laugh or cry...or murder. After all that, I now don't even have whatever I had before to work on and gotta start from scratch?? But thank god I had saved it on the comp under the Word documents cuz I'd be royally screwed. So I got somethin to work with at least. And that was that. Maybe it's better, since I can actually put thinkin into it and get a decent mark...well I'd have to, since I hafta get a 75 to get at least a C paper :( But ya know what? I don't care anymore, I'm not dealin with this thing til like Sun.

I don't think I've ever spent this much time in the library...in the past 3 days I think I've been actually workin on shit more than all the yrs before combined. The essay's due tomorrow...I got yet to start typin up those 10-12 pgs. Must...work...can't...slack...agh! I skipped film class too. Well, I went but I left so that still counts for somethin. OK I got there really late too but still! And then I realized I was skippin the same class that I dropped last yr cuz I skipped so much and basically screwed myself over, and I said I wouldn't skip anymore :P BUT I skipped to go to the library LOL Which is totally nerdy, and retarded to skip class to get hw done but OH WELL. I coulda gotten way more done than I did, damn. Meh, I just know I'm gonna get nuthin done tonight and bust my ass to hell and back tryin to get it desperately done at school tomorrow before class ends.
Know what? Sleepin on the floor ain't all that bad...long as ya got a pillow :P

LOL Look what I'm doin instead of workin on my essay.

See what Care Bear you are.

Pretty much figured which one I was already! :P



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I'M 47 PROOF. HOW DRUNK ARE YOU?

I did somethin really disgustin yesterday...I went to the library...at school...on a Sunday. I spent like 5 hrs lookin up shit for my essay due Wed. On a Sun night!! I was at that damn school til almost midnight, that's friggin insane. Who knew the FUCKIN buses don't run late on campus...I had to call daddy :P THAT night was a bitch of an experience. I was mad tired of that whole day, and I had like no time to do nuthin, I had to shower the next morning...which meant gettin up earlier, ick. I stayed after class today to some more too...for another 6 hrs. *cries* I hate this shit.
On a funnier note, I was goin thru my super old books on my shelf and I picked up some grade school novel of my sister's that I swiped a long time ago. I flipped thru it and there was a buncha pages that were torn and I remembered how we used to get mad at whatever the other one did and get revenge by rippin up eachother's books LOL Isn't that lame? But that's kinda messed up at the same time. It DID get us super pissed tho, back in the day :P
Well guess I should get back to work on that mother of an essay...I think I'm gonna die.

They got me to go out last night, which was good. Of course that was helped by some rum & coke. S'alright! I didn't do nuthin...but my stomach was doin funky noises, but that turned out OK too.
Don't you wanna just go "Fuuuuuuuuuuck!" sometimes? Of course you do. Maybe all the time.