Ooh I smell good...with about 6 different kind of smells! That's the thing about bein a girl I think...everythin made for a female has a scent....and you know that there are a LOT of products that girls use. And so I have different scents from my shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer, deodorant, shave gel...oh, and my clothes! (laundry detergent and fabric softener :P) They all don't match so I smell like various fruits and flowers. And I haven't even done my hair yet.

Kim and Cat are takin me to the Honest Lawyer tonight. I thought it was just some pricey bar (from what Al told me) but apparently they have bowling and pool and games and such. Wicked.

Time to dry my hair, I'm out!

I'm pink in the face, I know it. I can feel it in my eyes, haha. You know what I like about WKD? I've never gotten sick with them. The buzz without the heaving is much appreciated ;)

Raptors lost by 1 friggin point tonight. Balls! BasketBALLS, heeheehee.

My memory's not workin too well at this moment. When is it ever?? :P Well whatever it was I wanted to say, it couldn't have possibly been that important cuz none of it usually is, ha. Not like it stops me. It's my blog, so blah!

Payce!

Yeah I don't think I'll be goin to any more classes for this course til the essay's due. I went tonight and he spoke for like 15 mins then showed a Denys Arcand movie and then it was gonna be a break then another movie. I wouldn't have minded watchin them but it's not like I wanted to see them that bad. So...get home earlier or watch the films that didn't have relevance to the topic of my essay nor bein used as examples in my essay? :P Jetted at break, got somethin to eat, then went home.

Today was Remembrance Day. Had no idea my mom got the day off for it.

Dare you to move.
Dare you to lift yourself up off the floor.
Dare you to move.
Like today never happened.

I was so tired all of a sudden tonight. I took a nap at 11 somethin :P

Me and L went to the mall for a bit anyway but not Vaughn Mills. We saw Vick and Rene in the pet store. And Kevin Brown from hs in the Walmart photo centre. He was like, hey I recognize you from hs. I was lookin at him and I knew who he was but he looked a bit different now and his name was on the tip of my tongue. Plus he looks a lot like his brother Chris. I'm like, rrrrrr what is your name?? Kevin! Yeah! How's it goin? There were like 5 of the Browns at school so it was hard keepin track of them, haha.

I got my pix. Fuckin Walmart always leaves out some, what the hell. Now I'm gonna hafta go back and get to the bottom of this. The Avril ones are decent tho, the lightin's not the best. I had to finish my roll in Walmart so there's a couple with me and L unflatteringly upclose :P

Yikes, we had dinner at ESM hrs ago and I still feel full. Teaches me to get dessert.

L has lost her mind BTW. Or she has a crack habit she's not tellin me about. She likes to make up words and makes weird random noises when she trails off on a thought LOL Good times.

I decided not to do an audio blog cuz I'm just that lazy...which is dumb cuz I was too lazy to write this whole long post in the 1st place :P Now I don't feel like writin all of it anyway cuz it's ranting and convoluted so whatever.

Mon night was P's idea to go out cuz I was only there to help her out. This involved Marcus and a "best bday gift ever" if you can use your imagination. This was another one of her lil plans and she calls me for them cuz I'm the only one who goes along with them...and I'm the ride, haha. Am I the best friend you can ask for or what? So the plan was we'd go to Q's, play a while, she'd call him and they'd leave and then come back. Obviously this would leave me by myself for about an hr so that's why she was like, call Jay. I'm like, are you kiddin me? After what happened a few days ago? Then I told her about the cool/not cool situation with me and Jay. But he was online and I asked him if he wanted to hang with me and P, not just to ask but to get a feel for how he was about the last convo. Seems he didn't care much at all cuz he was like yeah sure, haha. So when me and P got to Q's, we parked in the lot and she had nervous energy and we still had to wait for Jay a while to get there so she's like, let's get some cigarettes! I'm like, what?? She doesn't smoke and if she ever does, it's only cigars. And I haven't smoked for a while (in my half-ass quittin state) so she's just worsening my habits, haha. She's like the bad influence the parents talk about...she really is a good girl, she's got morals and a job and she's really into spirituality, etc. But she's that friend who you're sittin with in a jail cell, haha. And not like I'm complainin cuz I'd probably be in there sayin how much fun that was :P

Anyway so we go find a gas station and I start her off easy with my Craven Menthols. We chill in the parkin lot, smokin haha. Jay rolls up and we go into Q's. Ian's there. We're playin pool and P borrows Ian's cell to call Marcus except he's not pickin up his phone all night and his mailbox is full. P's not pleased. She goes out to use the pay phone and picks up sushi on the way, haha. We play foosball and darts. P bent up a dart and I'm like, just leave it don't bend it back. Sure enough she snaps half of it off. She's like, dammit! This happened to me when I was in the States and I had to pay like $30! I KNEW I shouldn't have played! LOL But she insisted on goin to pay for it but the girl said it was OK. Then told us it was $4/hr to play darts, haha. It had always been free whenever we played before :P

Well P was chattin Ian up so me and Jay went out for a smoke. It was COLD that night and we were out there for like half an hr :P That's when the whole big convo happened. Don't wanna get into that, ha.

So there was no Marcus that night and P was mad, haha. He had called back Ian's cell to see who called him but it wasn't Ian or P that picked up so they didn't get in touch at all. It was interesting tho. I was only supposed to be there for support, haha. Shit, we got there at like 8:30 and left around 1:30. I honestly dunno what took up 5 hrs!

So last night I was thinkin me and L were gonna do somethin. I talk to her on the phone for a bit then she said she had to call me back. Jay comes online and asks what's goin on. I said I wasn't sure but what'd you have in mind? So this goes on and I never said I would do anythin with him cuz I had told him that I'd see what was happenin with plans with L. He kept askin and askin. See, if I was him (and I'd think anybody else would), I'd just say, OK well if you're not doin anythin, call me later and we can hang. Right? Startin to border on needy :P

Anyway, L wasn't up for anythin and P then calls and wants to go out, haha. Where do we end up again? Q's. 3 times in 4 days is gettin a bit much, haha. Sat in the parkin lot smokin again like we were high schoolers tokin up. P wasn't so sure about goin in cuz Ian would probably be there and he'd think she was comin by to see him, haha. And he was there. He's ALWAYS there. And there's a buncha ppl who I didn't know worked there but just play there a lot and I dunno if they're actually workin or not :P We had to get this guy with the key, who was just playin pool and darts with his buddies all night and payin too, to get the ball out the table and shit like 3 times. He said he had 'heard' about the dart incident.

"Did you guys play darts? Like you were here last night, right?"
"Yeah." *Pause* "It was her!"
"Yeah, those were mine." LOL
"Sorryyyyyyy!"
"Haha, it's OK."

We played like 15 games, no lie. It was gettin to 1 am and P's tired but she's like, we're playin til I win! I'm like, honey you know that's not gonna happen, haha...and you look like you wanna sleep, what's wrong with you. She's like, but I wanna winnnnn! It's over when I fall down! LOL What a psycho. Got home at 2...we finally left cuz it wasn't gonna happen :P Plus she had work the next day. Plus I had to get up to go to Vaughn Mills with L in the morning. Plus Q's closes at 2 ;) P's like, OK next time...bowling, haha.

Ugh, so we didn't get to go to the mall after all today cuz L's bro took her car to work for some reason. I wanted to see just how hype Vaughn Mills is. It's insane big and has all this crazy stuff goin on.

I'm sure I'll do an audio post about The Convo after this. It's always good to get the whole picture.

Well Jay was online today and he talked to me so I guess it's OK. I dunno, things seem different tho. Ah well. I'm in a weird place right now. At least I'm almost 100% better now!

Wow, who wasn't watchin The OC last week? But of course it's on Thurs now with other shows I already watch. I hate when TV networks make me pick! Anyway, there was a really good song on the season premiere. I don't normally like this kinda music but I do appreciate a good indie track sometimes. It's called All the Arms Around You by Halloween Alaska. If I liked it and it's on the OC, I must be cool now! :P

I'm kinda bored right now so I'll probably find a hundred ways to post about some random thing. I'd comment on the whole Bush/Kerry thing but if anyone who I don't know reads this, I'll most likely get my head ripped off for somethin or another, so I won't :P And I'm Canadian so there we have it. Just good luck with everythin, America!

I hafta go shoppin tomorrow. I like lists. Here's one:

Gift certificate from Jacob
A card
Bus tickets
A winter top
Maybe some black pants
Softlips
Timbs-type shoes

I think tonight I'll start my thing of goin to bed earlier. We'll see if that actually improves life, haha.

Alright, so yeah...me and Jay had this convo on MSN and some joke he made led to talkin about relationships. I had told him earlier some time ago about how I've never had a bf and I probably never will cuz I want it that way so I thought he probably had a clue about how whatever it was we were doin wasn't goin further than what it was. Guess not. He was askin about it and so I told him and that finally led to me layin it out. I said I knew it was a bad way to say it, but this wasn't gonna become anythin serious and I'm tellin you this cuz I don't want you to be wastin your time if that's what you're lookin for. He was like, oh. AH SHIT!! This is why I don't this!! Then I said, I'm sorry...was that totally brutal? He said no it was fine. God, I hate doin this shit...I felt so bad. I would've told him this face-to-face or at least over the phone but we were already on the subject and this was like 2 am last night. Then again, I guess it was a good thing cuz there would be those inevitable awkward and uncomfortable pauses and you can't see eachother esp if you're puttin on a front. The convo started fun and we were jokin around and he started askin about me comin to the parade thing and I dunno, I got a vibe like we were together and he really expected me to be there and all that. I didn't exactly want to go to that and I don't do mornings either, I'm sorry :P I was bein joke-y and nice about it tho! But I dunno...he was givin me sad faces. And he kept askin! So yeah, at the end he was like, well I am interested in you and I wanted a relationship. Fuuuuuck. All I could say was I'm sorry. Then he had to go and he was like, ttyl? And said good night so I don't think he left all THAT mad or upset. Or I could be wrong.

So that SUCKED. I haven't talked to him yet. I don't even know how I'm supposed to the next time he calls...or if I should call. Normally, I'd be whatever, like talkin how we usually talk. I mean, I'd be non-chalant...not cuz I don't care what happened but I don't want to assume that he'd be so dramatically heartbroken and sad over this. I think that'd be kinda arrogant of me. Like, who am I? He could be totally fine with it and not even care that much for all I know. But then again, if he is kinda upset about it and I'm all, hey what's up, then he'd be like wtf? Argh.

Anyway, talkin to him tonight wasn't even a factor since it was P's bday thing and we ended up goin out after dinner so any bar plans we might've had would hafta be scratched.

It was P's bday so as everyone knows, your bday is the 1 day where you can do what you want, everyone bows down to you and your say reigns supreme. She chose to have Indian for dinner. She knows I don't eat Indian. She knows I probably won't be able to stand Indian. Indian=spicy=I die. Yet Indian is what it was gonna be. But I chose the mildest thing they had and it was actually decent. It's good to try new things I guess...but I don't think I'll ever be goin to have Indian as a choice again, haha.

After dinner, we went to Q's. Some of us played pool, some played foosball. Fish came by and stayed for a bit. Saw Ian there again. Then we went to Timmy's. OMG that 1-2 hrs conversation we had the entire time we were there was mad funny. It was intellectual--talkin about religion and spirituality and Bush, and dirty--talkin about uteruses and BJs and other fun stuff...oh and Shy's a lesbian! Haha. Yup. I kinda knew she was bi but anyway. Crazy. Tonight was some good times...very interesting at the least.